Snow Tires
by bean88sprout
Summary: The next generation of Soul Eater is... different.
1. Chapter 1

**Guys, you won't regret this... (just casually avoid the first paragraph, and the other occasional moment(s), and all is well).**

**And the title makes zero sense. Until the end. Stay tuned.**

**If any of the characters seem super, incredibly weird: well, consider the parents we got to work with. It's a logical collection of offspring given the genetics...  
>LETS DO THIS SHIT. <strong>

**By the way, in case you were somehow confused on the matter, we don't fuckin own Soul Eater. Because, if we did, guess where we wouldn't be?  
>Here.<br>On this website.  
>Working at McDonalds.<br>Which we aren't doing anyway, because, well... no.  
>Also, if you are concerned that there is a multiple-personality disorder involved with the whole "we" thing, there are three of us. Not one crazy.<br>Much love,  
>Fuck, This, and Shit.<strong>

**ENJOY(:**

* * *

><p><em><span>Snow Tires<span>_

**Mikayla**

Nathan walks into the kitchen and looks at his adorable model of a girlfriend.

"You're so silly", he says as he watches Mikayla burn the kitchen down. Mikayla shrugs with a smirk, while also looking like a cute sex kitten. "Rawr!" she says. They both eat breakfast later after a hard night… of work. After eating, Nathan kisses Mikayla passionately whle he notices Naomi entering the room.

**Naomi**

Naomi enters what was once the kitchen, ignoring the passionate hubba-hubba exchange between her twin brother and his awkward stripper girlfriend. Figures, being the child of Blair and all, that the girl _would_ have no boundaries. Seriously. None. The nighttime noises are proof enough.

"You two disgust me, hanging off each other in what, might I point out, is a ridiculously asymmetrical fashion."

They wave her away, and Naomi leaves to spare her brain any more unnecessary images.

**Kata**

"HA-YAA!" Kata yells, flamboyantly dropping from the ceiling onto the scandalously-clad pair making out in the kitchen. "Sweet marshmallow Jesus! I see I have interrupted your teenaged love making" she exclaims with a jokingly-seductive smile aimed in Mikayla's direction. The older girl scowls and reachs down to reclaim her bright pink shirt that was laying on the floor, after being abandoned in an certain moment of passion.

"Uhh… Kata?" she hears a deep voice mutter from underneath her.

"Sorry!~" Kata muses with a smile as she casually places her hand down to push herself up. Instead, beneath her slender fingers she feels a bare, well-toned chest. Kata feels the blush rush to her face as she realizes she happens to be lying right on top of Nathan, the local hottie, and Mikayla's boyfriend.

"Oops! Sorry guys… I guess I'll be leaving now…" she utters shyly, her previously over-confident demeanor having vanished. Kata shuffles out of the room, speeding up to catch her best friend, Naomi.

"Sweet marshmallow Jesus that was awkward." she smiles as the comforting presence of the blonde brings her out of her shy mood. The brunette's hand clenched at her side as she remembers the feeling of Nathan's muscles.

"Marshmallow Jesus? Is that your new catchphrase?" Naomi asked.

"Question," Kata blurts out. "How is it that Nathan is so muscular and you…"

"IF I WAS MUSCULAR AND A FEMALE I'D BE A FREAK OKAY?" Naomi said angerly.

"Sorry, sorry, I was just thinking aloud." The brunette clasps her hands behind her back and laughs playfully at the angry glint in Naomi's eye. "So, you up for ice cream?"

**Jefferson**

Skyrim.

**Nathan**

Nathan stands from the kitchen floor, idly glancing after the retreating curly-haired girl. He shakes his head and confusion, but quickly redirects his attention to Mikayla.

"So… that was… what was that, exactly?" he raises his eyebrow to her, leaning attractively against the counter.

She shrugs, sauntering toward her boyfriend.

"Who cares?" she wraps her arms around his neck, grinning. His mouth pulls into a smile as they lean in together, only to be interrupted by the sound of shuffling feet behind them.

Mikayla sets her jaw and spins to yell at the intruding Kata, instead shocked to see Jefferson dully making his way to the fridge, left standing alone in the charred kithen.

Nathan and Mikayla watch the teenager quietly pull the handle and select a carton of milk and two packs of Oreos that, for whatever reason, are also in the fridge. He turns without acknowledging the two to leave again.

"Skyrim. Skyrim. Food and Skyrim. Skyyyyrrriiiimmm." Jefferson mumbles and clutches his gatherings to his chest, exiting the kitchen without even looking at either Nathan or Mikayla.

"I don't understand our roommates…" Nathan stares after him, much to the frustration of Mikayla, who growls under her breath.

"Then just pay attention to _me_ instead!" She forces through her teeth, plastering an impatient smile on her face. Nathan frowns.

"You know… I think I'm in the mood for some ice cream." He says and steps around her, grabbing a gray shirt strewn across the banister and his house key from the peg. "See you there?"

She purses her lips, yet nods anyway. Nathan grins, and suddenly, she finds herself loathing ice cream.

* * *

><p><strong>Haha, so turns out it's super awkwardly short. Whoops. You can blame our Mikayla writer for that. "Writer's Block", apparently. Next chapter = longer! R&amp;R, should it suit your fancy. LOLJK, do it whether or not you have an inclination to do so or not.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**WE'RE BACK GUYS HEY(: It's been 3 months, so whoops, but we are easily sidetracked. We've tried to work on it like 5 times. Never finished. Till now. BUT IT'S THREE TIMES BETTER THAN THE LAST ONE! (which was written at around 3am so forgive us). Anyway, just like last time, don't judge based on Mikayla's part, because we promise it gets better. And makes sense. Sort of. :D**

**Disclaimer:WE. DO. NOT. OWN. SOUL EASTER.**

**SO suck on that..**

**Love,**

**Fuck, This, and Shit.**

Mikayla

Mikayla walks into the store sneakily…

"Am I in real life or in a sea of Fanta?" she thought as she saw KATA out of all people flirting with her man in the dairy section. "Seriously the dairy section? Ugh that where all the sluts chill", she thought as she glared at Kata from behind French bread .

Mikayla casually walked up and said her hellos while sneakily stabbing Kata with a slice of bread.

"Sweet marshmallow Jesus what was that?" said Kata.

"What? Can't handle all of this?" Mikayla said.

"No I can't! Stop judging me before I turn emo again!" Kata said.

"Ugh you weirdo go back to the vegetable section you don't deserve to be here!" screamed

Mikayla.

"You know what? Maybe I will that's where my true home is anyways!" yelled Kata.

Mikayla didn't hear that part though as she was too busy making out with Nathan.

Ugh I wish I could watch you forever Kata thought but didn't say out loud as she didn't want to be seen as creepy. She just walked away dramatically into the sunset.

Naomi

"Mikayla! Mikayla, can you hear me?" Naomi took advantage of the situation and, in "concern" for her "friend", she slapped Mikayla across the face. She found herself taking joy in the satisfying "WHAP" that the contact made.

"Am I in real life or a sea of Fanta?" Mikayla mumbled stupidly as she woke up from passing out after consuming too much Rum Raisin ice cream.

"Do you mean 'fantasy'?" Nathan quirked an eyebrow and tried not to laugh at her sheer dumbness.

"Then why is everything orange and bubbly?" Mikayla giggled and hit Nathan on the arm in a rather drunken manner. "Wheeee…"

"Sweet Marshmallow Jesus!" Kata decided she should pretend like she cared. "Should we get her to a hospital…? Or something…? Or we could just…"

Kata slapped Mikayla across the face again, but the stripper only blinked and laughed again.

"DON'T WORRY!" Kata screamed, "MY GODLY PRESCENCE WILL AWAKEN YOU!"

Nathan and Naomi casually pushed Kata into the nearby pond.

"WE ARE THE GODS IN THIS VICINITY!" The twins screamed simultaneously. Kata simply floated face-down in the pond, but no fear friends, she lives.

Mikayla, thinking they were having a spontaneous swim party, pulled her shirt off in a stripper manner and leapt into the pond after Kata, splashing in its shallow depths.

As Mikayla was splashing, Nathan and Naomi noticed a disturbance in the pond. From the center of the pond, arose a small Asian wearing a newspaper hat.

"I AM THE DRAGONBORN!" He bellowed, "THOU SHALT NOT DESTROY THE KITCHEN OF THE DRAGONBORN!" Yelling a Sparta-esque roar, he charged the two death gods assuming that with their mighty power, they would have been the ones to destroy the kitchen. It had, after all, happened before.

And then, all of the roommates were either drunk or incapacitated.

Except for one lone Asian, standing in his paper hat, smiling amidst the clearing debris.

Kata

*BACK AT THE APARTMENT*

"Sweet Marshmallow Jesus, Jefferson!" Kata exclaimed while wringing out her still soaked hair.

"Bouncy~" Mikayla said in a dreamy voice as her glazed-over eyes stared at Kata's bouncing curls. Kata stared back at her in a look of total disgust.

"I think the Rum Raisin is still kicking," Nathan said with an adorable smile that made a shiver run up Kata's wet back.

"YOUR ANGER IS INVALID" Jefferson screamed, coming up behind Kata, and still wearing his newspaper hat.

"How did you even get in that pond, brat?" fumed a curious Naomi, still holding her hand against her still throbbing head.

But Jefferson just laughed like an Asian and turned away, muttering something about invalid humans, and retreated to the game room to continue playing Skyrim.

The three looked at each other and started laughing hysterically, eventually ending up in a pile on the floor, with their heads next to each other.

"This has been one crazy day," Nathan said, rolling over on his stomach.

"Sweet… Marshmallow… Jesus!" Kata laughed, still gasping for breath.

Then, the three friends made eye contact and burst into laughter again.

Then, suddenly, a big-boobed, purple-haired, "sex-kitten" plopped down on top of Nathan, giggling and pretending to understand the intense moment of friendship from which she was excluded.

"Oh Nathan," Mikayla said, flapping her fake eyelashes 'seductively'. "You're soooo funny." She then leaned over, grabbed his plaid shirt, and pulled him into a forceful kiss.

Naomi quickly sat up in disgust and looked over to her exuberant friend laying on the floor, oddly quiet for possibly the first time ever. The blonde reached out her hand and pulled Kata up, then the two girls walked away from the kissing couple.

"Oh Nathan" Naomi said in a mocking tone, thrusting out her chest and blinking rapidly, "Why don't we make out in the middle of the kitchen again to disgust the rest of our roommates? It's not like I have any morals or anything, and trust me, I've had LOTS of practice." She finished with an overexagerated wink and a high-pitched giggle. This impression started the two girls laughing again, almost loud enough that they didn't hear clatter from the plethora of metal appliances that seemed to have fallen from the countertops.

JEFFERSON:

WHO TOUCHED MA XBOX?

NO ONE TOUCHES THE XBOX OF THE DRAGON BORN!

Nathan

One second, Nathan was making out with his girlfriend on the kitchen floor, and the next thing he knew, his head was being slammed into the wall by an Asian.

It was going to cost a lot of money to fix that wall. For the fourth time. This month.

"The fuck, Jefferson?" Nathan shoved him off and attempted to leave, only to be slammed again. For a little guy, Jefferson had quite impressive strength.

"YOU KILLED MY XBOX!" Jefferson screamed, summoning all his inner rage.

"Pfft. Did not." Nathan scoffed and rolled his eyes, still trying to squirm out of Jefferson's death-grip.

"THEN EXPLAIN WHY IT'S DEAD."

"I dunno…"

Jefferson glared and released his cousin. He eyed him suspiciously, and almost looked as though he'd let the matter go. Then…

"KATA! SOUL RESONANCE!"

"On it!" Kata appeared out of nowhere, grinning as a golden archer's bow appeared in the place of her partner. Cocking her head to the side for aim (actually, for effect, considering that Nathan was a foot away), she pulled back on a soul-arrow, ready to let it fly.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Nathan yelled, jumping past Kata as the first arrow zinged by. "FUCKFUCKFUCK I DIDN'T TOUCH YOUR STUPID XBOX!"

Kata froze.

"Wait… Xbox?" She lowered the bow.

"Well, yeah," she heard Jefferson scoff. "He kinda _destroyed _it!"

"Oh…" Kata shifted her weight to her other leg awkwardly. "That kinda… that might have been me. Maybe. Haha, haha, BYE."

As quickly as she had appeared, Kata sprang out of the room and left Jefferson lying on the floor, right next to Mikayla who, apparently, was still there.

Clearly thinking he was Nathan, the lady-whore grasped Jefferson's orange t-shirt and pressed her face quite roughly into his Asian mouth. She continued as she usually does, making out and all, while the rest of the room (and Kata who was casually eavesdropping outside the door) completely froze. The only noises in the proximity were Mikayla's passion sounds.

Jefferson was the first to regain his ability to move. A victorious expression overcame his features and he leaned back into Mikayla's movements, growing as intense as she.

"Mm, Natey," Mikayla grinned, eyes still closed, "You've gotten good at this."

Footsteps sounded as Naomi entered the kitchen.

"Hey, Nathan, what are you making for din…ner…" She trailed off as she saw Mikayla and Jefferson rolling around on the floor, and Nathan staring at them with a sort of odd expression, somewhere between shock and horror.

"Umm…" She bit her lip uncomfortably, not really sure how to react. Luckily, Nathan came out of his stupor before she had to.

"JEFFERSON WHAT THE HECK THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND!" He screamed and grabbed his cousin by the collar of his shirt and slamming him, hypocritically, into the wall.

"She enjoyed it," Jefferson smirked, casually straightening his glasses even as the back of his head was connected to the wall.

Nathan glared darkly and harshly shoved the Asian into the tile floor.

"There will be no food for you." He spat and left the room angrily.

"Haha, well, _that_ was awkward!" Kata grinned and came out from behind the wall.

"Y'know what else is awkward?" Jefferson asked.

"What?"

"YOUR FACE WHEN I BREAK IT LIKE YOU BROKE MY XBOX!"

**The End :) Of Chapter 2...**

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